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Youth · Secret Love

Over the past 20 years, I have kept several copies of my photos, of which the earliest one was the graduation group photo in primary school. Because of the age, this photo has faded slightly, but I have a special warm emotion for it. I often look at everyone in the photo carefully one by one, my brain searched for the memory fragments about each of them. At the end, my eyes were always fixed on a person’s face involuntarily for a long time, and my heart suddenly accelerated unconsciously, the blood jumped rapidly all over her body. She first appeared in front of me on the day when the first semester of the fifth grade started to sign up. That afternoon, as in previous years, after the new head teacher completed the registration procedures for the students, he ordered the rosters and rows of seats. As soon as the seat was scheduled, the head teacher gave us a lecture. The door of the classroom was suddenly pushed open. Principal Li came in. He told the head teacher that there was a new student in our school, and he was inserted in your class. As the headmaster said, he looked back at the door. Everyone’s eyes shifted to the new student: a girl in a pink dress with a pair of gold silk glasses on a white melon seed face, two tiny twist flowers were placed on my chest. I couldn’t see a red leather schoolbag on my thin shoulder. When I came back to my mind, I found that the headmaster had left the classroom somehow. The head teacher said, welcome to our class. Please introduce yourself to everyone. There was a faint red glow on her face. She stepped forward and said a few words. I can’t remember what she said. I only wrote down her name in listing red, I think she is not only outstanding in talent, but also has a crisp and pleasant voice. Originally, the seats had been arranged, but because of the arrival of Yu Lihong, the girl with the surname of my deskmate was transferred to another seat by the head teacher, and Yu Lihong became my new deskmate. Her appearance, as if the fairy sister fell from the sky, made my eyes suddenly shine; She became my deskmate, making me secretly happy and excited for many days, thinking that this was the destined fate previous life. She was like a mystery all over, which made me full of curiosity: Seeing her appearance and temperament and dressing like a city man, how could she come to school in a poor and backward rural primary school like us? After many inquiries, I finally got some information about her: her father was a member of our four groups of Qianjin. When I was young, because my family was poor and there were many brothers, he went to a hometown and became a son-in-law for others. For some reason, he thought of converging ancestors and moved back to his hometown with his wife and children. On the first day I met LeHong, I dreamed of her in my sleep at night. I dreamed that she was wearing a pink gauze dress, playing on the grass for a while, and walking by the sea for a while, after a while, she flew in the sky and for a long time, she was the master of my dream. In the past, I had a lot of problems. I was so naughty that I liked to make trouble, especially the ugly girls in the class. But since I sat at the same table with her, I soon entered the team of my darling, many stubborn signs are missing. In fact, I was a teenager at that time. I didn’t know what love was and what love was. I just felt very happy with her and liked to show myself in front of her, and began to pay attention to his appearance and appearance. Before going to school, he washed his face white and clean, put vanishing cream on it, and secretly put the hair oil of his sisters on his head, the sanqi split shape like a movie star is bavnco. The great changes shown in me have been seen by my classmates. Some people whispered behind my back, saying what I did to others Yu Lihong. Although I heard it in my ears, I still acted my own way and made them angry to death, but I felt complacent in my heart. But once I was teased by others: When summer came, the weather was very hot, and everyone wore shirts. I wore old shirts handed down by my brother, and there was a worn hole in my elbow, I was found by the boy Ji Xinhua at the back table. He shouted loudly in front of the whole class, saying that I wanted to take advantage of the price of Yu Lihong all day and worn all the sleeves of my clothes, I was so angry that I was so ashamed that my ears turned red that I couldn’t wait to find a hole to drill down immediately. It doesn’t matter that others make fun of me, but once I played with a boy in my class who had yellow natural curly hair and three head-lifting lines on the forehead and skull, he suddenly talked about Yu Lihong. He said that she was so beautiful that if she could be asked to be his wife, it would be a great blessing. When I heard that I was very angry, I immediately blackened my face and didn’t want to play with him. He said: Even if I can’t marry her, I have to find a chance to rape her. When I heard this, I was furious and wanted to fight with that curly monkey. It was a pity that I was thin and weak body. I knew I was not a rival of others, so I had to give up, but I hated him from then on, he didn’t talk to him. In my impression, Yu Lihong is a lively girl who loves to laugh very much. She smiled. Under the lens, a pair of lively crescent moon appeared, and two shallow dimples were revealed on the corners of her mouth, that beautiful and lovely appearance can touch people’s soul. I love watching her laugh most, so I often try my best to make fun in front of her and make her laugh. Once, the whole school organized a mid-term exam. Due to limited places, the school arranged half of the students to take the exam in the classroom and half of the students to take the exam in the playground. In order not to let her suffer the crime of sun exposure, I took the initiative to ask to go to the playground for examination. She helped me lift the table outside. I suddenly felt that I hadn’t seen her smile for a long time, so I had a brainwave and thought about it. When I first got off the room at the door of the classroom, I deliberately pretended to step on the empty, and then everything was designed as I did: as soon as my hands were scattered, the table turned to the ground with four legs facing the sky, I am also full of limbs. Seeing this funny look, she burst out laughing and raised her mouth, revealing a pair of white and lovely little tiger teeth. She smiled and didn’t stop for a long time. Finally, she bent down and squatted on the ground with muffle with hands stomach. This time, she laughed the happiest and the longest, which made me unforgettable all my life. The day when I was at the same table with her was the happiest time in my primary school. In the sixth grade, although we were not deskmates, we were still in the same class. I could see her every day and show myself actively in front of her every day. However, such a happy day was really too short and passed too fast, so I graduated from primary school in an instant. When I went to junior high school, I seemed to enter another world. I was always unhappy and didn’t like to associate with people. I have always hoped that I can be divided into the same class as Yu liexin, but the reality is always contrary to people’s wishes. My heart is full of hatred, hatred of Heaven and the public is not beautiful, and hatred of fate playing tricks on people. At our level, there were many students, divided into eight classes. Because they were not in the same class, I seldom met her in those three years and had few opportunities to talk to her. When I met her on the road by chance, I felt very nervous, even a little confused and at a loss. I wanted to talk to her very much, but somehow I felt very inferior, but he couldn’t spit out his words, his heart was beating and his face was hot, so he always had to rub his head against her. The long-term mental depression and inferiority complex made my character become withdrawn and unwilling to talk to others. After a long time, I occasionally opened my mouth, but found that I was actually stuttering when speaking, the more this is, the more reluctant you are to talk to others. When you meet her, you often avoid it. I hated myself and scolded myself as a loser and a coward in my heart. I didn’t have the courage and courage to talk to her. I knew I am had a crush on her secretly, and my mood was very contradictory. When I couldn’t see her at ordinary times, I missed her all day. When I saw her, I tried my best to escape. I was afraid that her sharp eyes would see through my sensitive mind, I was afraid that she would know the ghost in my heart. I easily spent my junior high school time in that contradictory and complicated mood. After graduation, I went to high school. I heard that Yu Lihong went to a technical school in Xi’an provincial capital, later we never met again, but I often think of her. When I was bored, I looked through the photo album. The primary school graduation photo had faded and turned yellow, while her smile was still bright. January 22, 2006 in Xiaozhai Zan, Xi’an (prose editor: Dimo Cheng hurt) spring tour of Phoenix Mountain

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